Sunday, October 29, 2006
Echoes of Dante in Little Italy
I serve on the board of the Evangelical Press Association, and we had our semi-annual meeting on Saturday in Chicago. I figured I would fly in for meetings, see the inside of a hotel room, and fly home. But it turned out way better than that.
The weekend started with a three-hour flight delay Friday afternoon getting out of Dallas, thanks to congestion in the windy city (so named for gossip, not literal wind). Our pilot likened trying to control traffic in Chicago to trying to fit an eight-pound bowling ball into a four-pound bag. I arrived at my hotel at three minutes ’til six. But hey, we weren’t supposed to meet for dinner until six, so I even had three minutes to spare.
Afterward I turned in around 10:30 and my girlfrien' Kelley (geaux2girl) arrived about an hour later. She had made it into town flying stand-by for a visit with her friend/mentor, Sonya, who moved there four years ago. All the flight delays made it look iffy, but I told Kelley I’d share my room, and she said she wanted me to meet her friend. I can tell you for sure that I ended up getting the better end of that deal.
When my meetings finished at four on Saturday, I called Kelley to see what she was up to. Sonya, transplanted to Bulls country from Baton Rouge, was taking her to the Navy Pier. They invited me to join them, so we bundled up and headed downtown. Sonya dropped us off and went to find a place to park (no easy task), so Kelley and I would have more time to explore the pier. We made our way past Tiffany glass museum pieces to a place where we could stand outside under clouds turning pink and watch the transformation of skyscrapers from long, dark plates of glass to panels of twinkling lights. Sonya joined us there and together we all made the trek back, winding through the pier’s mall and stopping to pick up gifts for the kiddos.
We returned to get the car, which cost $22 for an hour of parking, and I experienced my first-ever traffic jam in a garage, complete with officers directing traffic. What an adventure!
We swung by to pick up Sonya’s husband, Matt, and they treated us to a grand dinner at their favorite restaurant in Little Italy, La Vita. It's this Italian place with intimate lighting and purple velvet-draped French windows where we found neighborhood charm, old-world warmth, and modern European ambiance.
Matt, the consummate host, suggested that we start off eating grilled sea scallops with asparagus and gorgonzola cheese topped with thin onion rings. Then Kelley and I split a salad with more gorgonzola, green apple slices, and toasted almonds. I probably could have stopped there, but I still had room for a bowl of capellini con scampi (angel hair pasta in olive oil and garlic with tiger shrimp), and a bite of the chocolate dessert we all split.
If you were to ask my favorite way to pass a night in an unfamiliar city, I’d say “to share a meal at a favorite restaurant of someone who lives there and loves the place.” And there we were. Now, as if that hadn’t been enough, we'd seen the city reflected in the water on a crisp, beautiful night, and entered into the kind of fellowship old friends share. Talk about showing hospitality to a stranger.
Dante structured his Inferno and Purgatorio as a journey through the seven vices. What interests me about the vices is that to Dante the opposite of both avarice and gluttony—two of the biggies—is generosity. Sonya and Matt treated a stranger like family. Kelley shared her limited time with good friends. And I didn’t deserve any of it, but I came away feeling like I’d tasted a little bit of paradiso.
Photos by Kelley Mathews
The weekend started with a three-hour flight delay Friday afternoon getting out of Dallas, thanks to congestion in the windy city (so named for gossip, not literal wind). Our pilot likened trying to control traffic in Chicago to trying to fit an eight-pound bowling ball into a four-pound bag. I arrived at my hotel at three minutes ’til six. But hey, we weren’t supposed to meet for dinner until six, so I even had three minutes to spare.
Afterward I turned in around 10:30 and my girlfrien' Kelley (geaux2girl) arrived about an hour later. She had made it into town flying stand-by for a visit with her friend/mentor, Sonya, who moved there four years ago. All the flight delays made it look iffy, but I told Kelley I’d share my room, and she said she wanted me to meet her friend. I can tell you for sure that I ended up getting the better end of that deal.
When my meetings finished at four on Saturday, I called Kelley to see what she was up to. Sonya, transplanted to Bulls country from Baton Rouge, was taking her to the Navy Pier. They invited me to join them, so we bundled up and headed downtown. Sonya dropped us off and went to find a place to park (no easy task), so Kelley and I would have more time to explore the pier. We made our way past Tiffany glass museum pieces to a place where we could stand outside under clouds turning pink and watch the transformation of skyscrapers from long, dark plates of glass to panels of twinkling lights. Sonya joined us there and together we all made the trek back, winding through the pier’s mall and stopping to pick up gifts for the kiddos.
We returned to get the car, which cost $22 for an hour of parking, and I experienced my first-ever traffic jam in a garage, complete with officers directing traffic. What an adventure!
We swung by to pick up Sonya’s husband, Matt, and they treated us to a grand dinner at their favorite restaurant in Little Italy, La Vita. It's this Italian place with intimate lighting and purple velvet-draped French windows where we found neighborhood charm, old-world warmth, and modern European ambiance.
Matt, the consummate host, suggested that we start off eating grilled sea scallops with asparagus and gorgonzola cheese topped with thin onion rings. Then Kelley and I split a salad with more gorgonzola, green apple slices, and toasted almonds. I probably could have stopped there, but I still had room for a bowl of capellini con scampi (angel hair pasta in olive oil and garlic with tiger shrimp), and a bite of the chocolate dessert we all split.
If you were to ask my favorite way to pass a night in an unfamiliar city, I’d say “to share a meal at a favorite restaurant of someone who lives there and loves the place.” And there we were. Now, as if that hadn’t been enough, we'd seen the city reflected in the water on a crisp, beautiful night, and entered into the kind of fellowship old friends share. Talk about showing hospitality to a stranger.
Dante structured his Inferno and Purgatorio as a journey through the seven vices. What interests me about the vices is that to Dante the opposite of both avarice and gluttony—two of the biggies—is generosity. Sonya and Matt treated a stranger like family. Kelley shared her limited time with good friends. And I didn’t deserve any of it, but I came away feeling like I’d tasted a little bit of paradiso.
Photos by Kelley Mathews
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Market Your Book
The Christian Authors Network featured me with some of my book marketing advice yesterday. If you write or aspire to, marketing goes with the package. Sadly, gone are the days when you could hole yourself up in your attic to write and let someone else handle packaging and promoting.
Need a jumpstart to generate a good title? Lulu has a tool that can help. It's imperfect. ( It says TheDaVinci Code has only a 14.6% chance of ever becoming a bestseller!) But it's still kind of fun. Check it out here.
Need a jumpstart to generate a good title? Lulu has a tool that can help. It's imperfect. ( It says TheDaVinci Code has only a 14.6% chance of ever becoming a bestseller!) But it's still kind of fun. Check it out here.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Go, Julie!
Back in August I ran an interview with Julie, who has put herself through the gruelling process of training for her first race, the Dallas Half Marathon, scheduled for November 5. Some have asked me if Julie met her goal of raising $1,600 to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The answer: Yes--so far she's $25 over! Yesterday she said to tell you all "thank you," as some of my readers, people who have never even met her, contributed. You rock!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Most Famous Non-Persons?
Quick! Can you name some non-persons who have greatly influenced you or society in general? Some authors have compiled a list of 101 such folks. The Marlboro Man falls in the number one slot, followed by Big Brother. Hamlet made the list, too, as did Helen of Troy and even Dr. Frankenstein's monster. (Should he count as a person?) The authors also include Santa, though they concede St. Nick really lived. Apparently it was the whole flying sleigh and reindeer thing that got him classified as a "non."Yet the first name that came to mind for me--nowhere. Zip. Nada. I consult her book almost daily. I've bought several versions, as she gets updated periodically. The authors must be of the McDonald's generation. Or maybe Chili's. Otherwise how do we account for their leaving out the most influential non-person in our household, the creator of my favorite pie crust and chocolate cake recipes, Betty Crocker?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Near Dallas?
If you happen to live near Dallas, Texas, maybe you want to consider attending one of the events where I'm scheduled to speak in the next few weeks:
The first is a November 4 workshop on infertility and adoption at the Lake Pointe Church Adoption Conference at the church's Rockwall campus. Contact me via the email address on my profile for more info.
The second is a November 6 workshop titled "Rx for the Highly Caffeinated, Tech-Savvy, Overcommitted Woman: Trendwatch and Response" at Dallas Seminary's "All About Influence" women's leadership conference. We still have a few spots open for those wishing to register. The $75 fee includes all conference materials and meals. For more information on this one, visit www.dts.edu/ccl or contact Amy Turner at 214-841-3699.
November 8 is my big date with Mother Baylor--Dallaspeke for surgery on the rebellious clavicle. No tickets to that one. :)
The first is a November 4 workshop on infertility and adoption at the Lake Pointe Church Adoption Conference at the church's Rockwall campus. Contact me via the email address on my profile for more info.
The second is a November 6 workshop titled "Rx for the Highly Caffeinated, Tech-Savvy, Overcommitted Woman: Trendwatch and Response" at Dallas Seminary's "All About Influence" women's leadership conference. We still have a few spots open for those wishing to register. The $75 fee includes all conference materials and meals. For more information on this one, visit www.dts.edu/ccl or contact Amy Turner at 214-841-3699.
November 8 is my big date with Mother Baylor--Dallaspeke for surgery on the rebellious clavicle. No tickets to that one. :)
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Church Ladies
The women of Munich International Community Church. My teeny face is first on the left, bottom row.
You can listen to my messages here. This link will take you to the church's site for retreat messages, and my set of talks are identified by the "women's retreat" with the topic, "Tell Me a Story." And here is a link to the notes.
The Lake
We never saw the mountains because of a little haze, but the sky got as blue as this water. The schloss where we stayed looked out on this lake.
Snake Handler
Steve, the snake-handling pastor. He sent me this photo so I would recognize him when they picked me up at the airport, but it was tough to be sure it was him without the snake.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
There and Back
Twenty-six years ago my husband's brother and his wife introduced us to their friends, Steve and Robin Henderson, on graduation day at Dallas Seminary. The following morning, as I recall, we all worshiped together at a church the two guys were planting. When we moved from D. C. to Dallas the following year, Steve and Robin had transitioned, and they led our young marrieds' Sunday school class at the church where we ended up.
Okay, fast forward twenty-some years: I ran into Steve at a theological meeting and learned he was a pastor in Bavaria. You know, that place in Germany that has goodies and after which Christmas villages are patterned? Jokingly I said, "Bavaria? Du-ude, invite me to speak sometime. I'm so there!"
Well, to my great delight, last year they indeed invited me over to speak at their women's retreat. I was all set to go in November when I fell down the stairs, broke my clavicle, and had to have surgery. That meant I had to cancel on them at the last minute. Fortunately, my pal Mary DeMuth is church-planting with her hubby in France, and she hopped over to Germany and did a lovely job speaking in my place.
This year the church was kind enough to ask again, this time for an October conference. October in Germany? I said, "Shoot, yeah!" and we bought tickets. But then my doc told me I needed surgery again. I pleaded with him to let me speak in Munich before going under the knife, as I wanted to avoid that whole leave-them-scrambling-at-the-last-minute thing two years in a row. One of my friends at DTS, upon hearing about my surgery, told me she was going to pray and fast specifically that I would get to go.
Well, her prayers (and mine) were answered this weekend.
The church has about three hundred adults involved, fifty-plus of whom attended this retreat held at a Word of Life conference center on the edge of a massive you-can-see-the-rocks-on-the-bottom lake. We stayed in a lovely old schloss (German for castle or mansion) overlooking the lake. (Scroll down for a photo; my window was the last one on the left on the ground floor.)
Last year I planned to stay after for a day and take in Munich sites with the Hendersons. This time I focused instead on just getting there and back because we didn't know how my body would hold up. Actually I did just fine, and I never needed more than a couple of Tylenol tablets.
I had some of the local food--Döner Kebab--which is roasted veal cut in thin slices served on fantastic pita-like fresh bread with fried onions. Yum! It's actually of Turkish origin, but quite popular in Bavaria. Also, I sampled some meat they liken to Spam, which I thought tasted pretty good. No beer, though. Sort of sad to be in Germany in October and miss a fest, but that just means we'll have to go back as a family "on holiday."
On to the retreat... The women were of high calibre spiritually, intellectually, and relationally. The church ministers to the English-speaking community in Munich, so they were a great mix of folks from business and the arts (an opera singer, musicians) and students--many of whom know three or more languages and have lived all over the world. And I have never been with women who prayed so much and so deeply. They had forty-five minutes set aside for an optional prayer time before I spoke both mornings, and the room would be packed out.
Here's what the schedule looked like: Thursday I flew to Zurich, Switzerland, where I had a four-hour layover; then on to Munich, arriving mid-day Friday after "second breakfast." Steve and Robin took me to lunch and gave me a quick sampling of their city before taking the scenic route to the retreat site, an hour away. Think rolling hills and old houses dotted with window boxes draped in purple and fuchsia.
I spoke Friday night. The focus of my messages was on God's big story and how every person is a story of God's faithfulness waiting to be told. I spoke again Saturday morning followed by some great one-on-one time with some women, and then a "meet the speaker" Q/A session. Many there wanted to know how to write. These are articulate folks with fascinating backgrounds, many of whom should be writing, even if only for their existing circle of influence.
I had dinner with Steve and Robin, spoke again, and then Steve led us all in communion.
Sunday morning I gave a final message, then left pronto for the airport. Think doing 100 mph on the Autobahn--something between "Whee!" and white knuckles--and you have the idea. (Thanks for praying, Mom!)
I grabbed some good minutes with Robin before flying to London/Heathrow. I stayed overnight with friends there and caught a cab to Gatwick yesterday morning. That got hairy when the driver didn't take credit cards and I had only Euros and dollars but no pounds. So I had to leave my bag with him as collateral and run inside the airport seeking money changers. Then, because my luggage had left my sight, we had to subject it to an extra x-ray search.
The flight got delayed and I arrived home about four hours later than planned. So ten hours stretched to fourteen. Boy, was I whipped last night.
But on the way home my seat-mate--a delightful, brilliant woman who's writing a book on Christian fundamentalists and their views on Israel for Yale University Press--made the time go much faster. Picture an adjunct prof at an evangelical seminary talking theology with a well-read agnostic and you have some great conversation. Providential, I thought.
My daughter lost a tooth while I was gone and wondered why the Tooth Fairy had not come, but fortunately said fairy arrived in the nick of time to bring joy this morning. Whew!
Okay, fast forward twenty-some years: I ran into Steve at a theological meeting and learned he was a pastor in Bavaria. You know, that place in Germany that has goodies and after which Christmas villages are patterned? Jokingly I said, "Bavaria? Du-ude, invite me to speak sometime. I'm so there!"
Well, to my great delight, last year they indeed invited me over to speak at their women's retreat. I was all set to go in November when I fell down the stairs, broke my clavicle, and had to have surgery. That meant I had to cancel on them at the last minute. Fortunately, my pal Mary DeMuth is church-planting with her hubby in France, and she hopped over to Germany and did a lovely job speaking in my place.
This year the church was kind enough to ask again, this time for an October conference. October in Germany? I said, "Shoot, yeah!" and we bought tickets. But then my doc told me I needed surgery again. I pleaded with him to let me speak in Munich before going under the knife, as I wanted to avoid that whole leave-them-scrambling-at-the-last-minute thing two years in a row. One of my friends at DTS, upon hearing about my surgery, told me she was going to pray and fast specifically that I would get to go.
Well, her prayers (and mine) were answered this weekend.
The church has about three hundred adults involved, fifty-plus of whom attended this retreat held at a Word of Life conference center on the edge of a massive you-can-see-the-rocks-on-the-bottom lake. We stayed in a lovely old schloss (German for castle or mansion) overlooking the lake. (Scroll down for a photo; my window was the last one on the left on the ground floor.)
Last year I planned to stay after for a day and take in Munich sites with the Hendersons. This time I focused instead on just getting there and back because we didn't know how my body would hold up. Actually I did just fine, and I never needed more than a couple of Tylenol tablets.
I had some of the local food--Döner Kebab--which is roasted veal cut in thin slices served on fantastic pita-like fresh bread with fried onions. Yum! It's actually of Turkish origin, but quite popular in Bavaria. Also, I sampled some meat they liken to Spam, which I thought tasted pretty good. No beer, though. Sort of sad to be in Germany in October and miss a fest, but that just means we'll have to go back as a family "on holiday."
On to the retreat... The women were of high calibre spiritually, intellectually, and relationally. The church ministers to the English-speaking community in Munich, so they were a great mix of folks from business and the arts (an opera singer, musicians) and students--many of whom know three or more languages and have lived all over the world. And I have never been with women who prayed so much and so deeply. They had forty-five minutes set aside for an optional prayer time before I spoke both mornings, and the room would be packed out.
Here's what the schedule looked like: Thursday I flew to Zurich, Switzerland, where I had a four-hour layover; then on to Munich, arriving mid-day Friday after "second breakfast." Steve and Robin took me to lunch and gave me a quick sampling of their city before taking the scenic route to the retreat site, an hour away. Think rolling hills and old houses dotted with window boxes draped in purple and fuchsia.
I spoke Friday night. The focus of my messages was on God's big story and how every person is a story of God's faithfulness waiting to be told. I spoke again Saturday morning followed by some great one-on-one time with some women, and then a "meet the speaker" Q/A session. Many there wanted to know how to write. These are articulate folks with fascinating backgrounds, many of whom should be writing, even if only for their existing circle of influence.
I had dinner with Steve and Robin, spoke again, and then Steve led us all in communion.
Sunday morning I gave a final message, then left pronto for the airport. Think doing 100 mph on the Autobahn--something between "Whee!" and white knuckles--and you have the idea. (Thanks for praying, Mom!)
I grabbed some good minutes with Robin before flying to London/Heathrow. I stayed overnight with friends there and caught a cab to Gatwick yesterday morning. That got hairy when the driver didn't take credit cards and I had only Euros and dollars but no pounds. So I had to leave my bag with him as collateral and run inside the airport seeking money changers. Then, because my luggage had left my sight, we had to subject it to an extra x-ray search.
The flight got delayed and I arrived home about four hours later than planned. So ten hours stretched to fourteen. Boy, was I whipped last night.
But on the way home my seat-mate--a delightful, brilliant woman who's writing a book on Christian fundamentalists and their views on Israel for Yale University Press--made the time go much faster. Picture an adjunct prof at an evangelical seminary talking theology with a well-read agnostic and you have some great conversation. Providential, I thought.
My daughter lost a tooth while I was gone and wondered why the Tooth Fairy had not come, but fortunately said fairy arrived in the nick of time to bring joy this morning. Whew!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Gatwick
At the moment I am sitting at Gatwick (in London) waiting to board a delayed plane. I have six minutes left on my pre-purchased internet service, so I'll keep it short. My time in Germany with the Munich church folks was fantastic. Imagine singing the Doxology in your first language along with people from about fifteen other nations doing so simultaneously. It was a foretaste of "every tribe and nation and tongue..." From there I spent a quick but fun night with our friends, Alison and Greg Mullins, in London. I'm jet-lagging, but I had the stamina I needed when I needed it, and the shoulder was only a nuisance, not a total pain. Thanks to all who prayed for me. I sensed it bigtime. More when I can update you!
Friday, October 13, 2006
Update
I'm in Zurich now, awaiting my Munich flight. It's 8:30 in the morning here, but for my family back home, it's the middle of the night. On the flight we were stuffed in our seats like Albacore tuna in a can. It feels good to stretch my legs. My seat partner was an Austrian gentleman, a pensioner who spends his days as a volunteer teaching students how to play that long, Austrian horn. We watched a beautiful pink sunrise over the Alps on our descent. Not a bad way to start the day. Now if I can just figure a way to get the coins I need to use a Swiss restroom...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Auf Wiedersehen
I'm headed to Germany to do a women's retreat at this lovely location. Pity, eh? Then I'm on to London overnight before heading back to my fam on Monday. It may be quiet in the blogosphere for a few days, but I'll update you as I'm able. I am going complete with behaving shoulder and Dell power cord. Thanks for all those who prayed (keep it up!) and offered the use of their cords. I'm grateful.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Clean Big Secret
When I did some research on infidelity for a chapter in Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (currently being revised for its third-edition launch), I read some of the writings of people who get a rush out of cheating.
This may seem like a no-brainer to you, but it amazed me and still amazes me: Some people cheat because of the thrill of having a secret. It makes them feel mysterious to have this alternate identity. No more of the day in and out same old self that was long ago typecast by friends and relatives.
I suspect that same desire is what drives some to create blogs that project made-up identities. But that kind of secret has a seriously low down-side. Think of the All American Rejects and their Dirty Little Secrets video. Sometimes the thrill of the alternate life turns sour and can eat people up until they confess. Or get caught.
Yeah, that's bad. Really bad. But still, I actually think there is something to this stuff about needing to have a secret life, to surprise people by being unpredictable. I just think it's the opposite of what such cheaters think. Rather than being more evil than people would know from one's public persona, I think we're supposed to be better. Secretly. Remember what Jesus said about giving? Do it in secret. And about praying long prayers? Do that in secret, too. So everybody sees the outside and doesn't realize we have this rich righteous inner life going on. That's the goal.
Now, they might catch us on our knees. Oops.
Or they might see us slipping money into a needy person's pocket. Uh-oh.
Or they might overhear us taking aside a bigot and reminding him or her that God made that skin color they're dissing. Busted!
Or they might witness us taking care to preserve the environment with which God has entrusted us. Caught with our pants zipped!
But it's not because we meant to be seen. We'll try to be more subtle next time...
When that happens they'll suspect there's a side to us that's a mystery, that makes them wonder. They might need to adjust the mental mold they've put us in. But they don't know if what they've "caught" us doing is a one-time fluke or if there's more to us than meets the eye. Imagine if all those little notes on postsecret included more than a smattering of good secrets among the heartbreak.
Imagine "I know what you did" evoking a smile instead of a blush.
This may seem like a no-brainer to you, but it amazed me and still amazes me: Some people cheat because of the thrill of having a secret. It makes them feel mysterious to have this alternate identity. No more of the day in and out same old self that was long ago typecast by friends and relatives.
I suspect that same desire is what drives some to create blogs that project made-up identities. But that kind of secret has a seriously low down-side. Think of the All American Rejects and their Dirty Little Secrets video. Sometimes the thrill of the alternate life turns sour and can eat people up until they confess. Or get caught.
Yeah, that's bad. Really bad. But still, I actually think there is something to this stuff about needing to have a secret life, to surprise people by being unpredictable. I just think it's the opposite of what such cheaters think. Rather than being more evil than people would know from one's public persona, I think we're supposed to be better. Secretly. Remember what Jesus said about giving? Do it in secret. And about praying long prayers? Do that in secret, too. So everybody sees the outside and doesn't realize we have this rich righteous inner life going on. That's the goal.
Now, they might catch us on our knees. Oops.
Or they might see us slipping money into a needy person's pocket. Uh-oh.
Or they might overhear us taking aside a bigot and reminding him or her that God made that skin color they're dissing. Busted!
Or they might witness us taking care to preserve the environment with which God has entrusted us. Caught with our pants zipped!
But it's not because we meant to be seen. We'll try to be more subtle next time...
When that happens they'll suspect there's a side to us that's a mystery, that makes them wonder. They might need to adjust the mental mold they've put us in. But they don't know if what they've "caught" us doing is a one-time fluke or if there's more to us than meets the eye. Imagine if all those little notes on postsecret included more than a smattering of good secrets among the heartbreak.
Imagine "I know what you did" evoking a smile instead of a blush.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Heather Wins
Heather is the winner of Wishing on Dandelions. If you are the real Heather, shoot me an email with your snail mail address, and I'll mail you the book.
In other news, my brother-in-law, Mark, loaned me his Dell power cord. My thanks to all who wrote offering to lend me yours. So far today, friends, I have not had to interact with any sales persons, friends. I am appreciating the twenty-four-hour respite, friends.
In other news, my brother-in-law, Mark, loaned me his Dell power cord. My thanks to all who wrote offering to lend me yours. So far today, friends, I have not had to interact with any sales persons, friends. I am appreciating the twenty-four-hour respite, friends.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Two Things...
The weekend has been full of customer-service frustrations, as you have read (or if you have not yet read, you are about to as you scroll down). Here are a couple of take-away points:
For fiction writers: Don't overuse people's names in dialogue. People generally overuse your name when they are a) in sales trying to create pseudo-intimacy; and b) in customer service trying to create pseudo-intimacy. The rest of the time, we generally use people's names in our conversations only when we want to emphasize something. One of the marks of a newby writer is overusing names in dialogue.
About corporations: Something I love about my Netflix account is that I can score movies that Blockbuster and Hollywood don't carry. One such film is a documentary called "The Corporation," which charts the rise of corporations as a dramatic, pervasive presence in our free-enterprise lives. The filmmakers present an entertaining critique of global conglomerates' inner workings and impacts, weighing pros and cons via interviews with social critics including the controversial Michael Moore. Moore is not my fave documentary producer, but I think he's right on the nickel about corporations. One of the points made: A corporation is essentially a business entity with legal authority to act as a single person. But if we were to give that person a personality profile, he or she would be classified as a sociopath. Individual employees are protected from legal liability as the overall business is held responsible for transgressions.
I have low expectations when dealing with multi-national corporations, and I'm rarely disappointed. On many levels, a Farmers Market is better for the global community than a Wal-Mart.
For fiction writers: Don't overuse people's names in dialogue. People generally overuse your name when they are a) in sales trying to create pseudo-intimacy; and b) in customer service trying to create pseudo-intimacy. The rest of the time, we generally use people's names in our conversations only when we want to emphasize something. One of the marks of a newby writer is overusing names in dialogue.
About corporations: Something I love about my Netflix account is that I can score movies that Blockbuster and Hollywood don't carry. One such film is a documentary called "The Corporation," which charts the rise of corporations as a dramatic, pervasive presence in our free-enterprise lives. The filmmakers present an entertaining critique of global conglomerates' inner workings and impacts, weighing pros and cons via interviews with social critics including the controversial Michael Moore. Moore is not my fave documentary producer, but I think he's right on the nickel about corporations. One of the points made: A corporation is essentially a business entity with legal authority to act as a single person. But if we were to give that person a personality profile, he or she would be classified as a sociopath. Individual employees are protected from legal liability as the overall business is held responsible for transgressions.
I have low expectations when dealing with multi-national corporations, and I'm rarely disappointed. On many levels, a Farmers Market is better for the global community than a Wal-Mart.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Dell Schmell
The last three laptops I've owned have been Dells. I've generally been happy, except that my power cords never last more than two years. Sometimes less.
Today it happened again. My power cord died. I have about an hour left on my battery. So I hopped online, ordered a cord, and paid an extra $16 for next-business-day shipping, bringing the total of my order to about $52. For a cord!
We'll give them today as a non-business day and assume they'll get started on the order on Monday, even though they have already confirmed receipt of my order with three emails. That means I should have the cord by the close of business Tuesday, right? Wrong.
I just received a confirmation saying I should get it on Thursday. Only problem is, I have to leave around noon Thursday to catch a flight to Germany. Where I was planning to use my computer.
"Why," I ask, "will it take until Thursday?" Their answer (don't laugh): They need a couple of extra days for assembly.
I told you not to laugh.
I called the customer service number and they gave me auto-girl who confirmed that my order was placed today and hung up on me with a cheery, "Goodbye."
So I hopped online again and talked to an agent named Mandeep Kalha. Here is our conversation with details such as address and email deleted. Notice how many times he uses my name:
Agent: "Thank you for contacting Dell Consumer Customer Care Chat. My name is Mandeep. How may I assist you today?" "Hi Sandra."
Me: "I ordered a power cord today because mine died. I have a huge presentation in Munich leaving Thu. I paid $16 for next-day business. Now I'm informed it will not arrive until Thu. I need to cancel the expedited shipping. I called the 1-800 number and they gave me a status update and hung up on me without the option of speaking to anyone."
Agent: "Sandra, the Next Day shipping method on the order applies once the order is shipped out of Dell and the estimated shipping date for the order is the 11th of October 2006 and the order may ship out on or before this date."
Me: "If that had been clear, I would not have asked for next-day shipping. It won't arrive until I'm GONE. Are there any stores where I can buy a Dell power cord in Dallas?"
Agent: "Sandra, the best I can do is cancel the order and transfer you to the Sales Department for a substitute?"
Me: "Substitute? What kind of substitute?"
Agent: "They will let you know if you can purchase the cord from a store."
Me: "You don't have that information? Are you not in the US?"
Agent: "Sandra, as I am in Customer Care, I do not have the access to the Sales records. You can call our Sales Department at 1-800-915-3355 between 7AM to 11 PM CST, Monday to Saturday. [I called it while I was online with him and got a message saying it was after hours, even though my clock said I had two hours before 11 PM CST on Saturday.] You can also chat with our sales representative by clicking on the following hyper link... [I clicked on it and received an error code.]
Me: "I already called that number. They told me the status of my order and hung up on me."
Agent: "I really apologize for the inconvenience this matter has caused."
Me: "If you were me, how would you pull off doing the presentation in Munich this weekend? Borrow a friend's computer and re-create the PowerPoint slides?"
Agent: "Sandra, I really apologize for the inconvenience this matter has caused however I do not have the authority to expedite the estimated shipping date. As of now the estimated shipping date is the 11th of October 2006 and the order may ship out on or before"
* * *
Recently the "f" key fell off my laptop. Half the letters are rubbed off. It's probably time to start thinking about a...Toshiba, Gateway, Sony...
Today it happened again. My power cord died. I have about an hour left on my battery. So I hopped online, ordered a cord, and paid an extra $16 for next-business-day shipping, bringing the total of my order to about $52. For a cord!
We'll give them today as a non-business day and assume they'll get started on the order on Monday, even though they have already confirmed receipt of my order with three emails. That means I should have the cord by the close of business Tuesday, right? Wrong.
I just received a confirmation saying I should get it on Thursday. Only problem is, I have to leave around noon Thursday to catch a flight to Germany. Where I was planning to use my computer.
"Why," I ask, "will it take until Thursday?" Their answer (don't laugh): They need a couple of extra days for assembly.
I told you not to laugh.
I called the customer service number and they gave me auto-girl who confirmed that my order was placed today and hung up on me with a cheery, "Goodbye."
So I hopped online again and talked to an agent named Mandeep Kalha. Here is our conversation with details such as address and email deleted. Notice how many times he uses my name:
Agent: "Thank you for contacting Dell Consumer Customer Care Chat. My name is Mandeep. How may I assist you today?" "Hi Sandra."
Me: "I ordered a power cord today because mine died. I have a huge presentation in Munich leaving Thu. I paid $16 for next-day business. Now I'm informed it will not arrive until Thu. I need to cancel the expedited shipping. I called the 1-800 number and they gave me a status update and hung up on me without the option of speaking to anyone."
Agent: "Sandra, the Next Day shipping method on the order applies once the order is shipped out of Dell and the estimated shipping date for the order is the 11th of October 2006 and the order may ship out on or before this date."
Me: "If that had been clear, I would not have asked for next-day shipping. It won't arrive until I'm GONE. Are there any stores where I can buy a Dell power cord in Dallas?"
Agent: "Sandra, the best I can do is cancel the order and transfer you to the Sales Department for a substitute?"
Me: "Substitute? What kind of substitute?"
Agent: "They will let you know if you can purchase the cord from a store."
Me: "You don't have that information? Are you not in the US?"
Agent: "Sandra, as I am in Customer Care, I do not have the access to the Sales records. You can call our Sales Department at 1-800-915-3355 between 7AM to 11 PM CST, Monday to Saturday. [I called it while I was online with him and got a message saying it was after hours, even though my clock said I had two hours before 11 PM CST on Saturday.] You can also chat with our sales representative by clicking on the following hyper link... [I clicked on it and received an error code.]
Me: "I already called that number. They told me the status of my order and hung up on me."
Agent: "I really apologize for the inconvenience this matter has caused."
Me: "If you were me, how would you pull off doing the presentation in Munich this weekend? Borrow a friend's computer and re-create the PowerPoint slides?"
Agent: "Sandra, I really apologize for the inconvenience this matter has caused however I do not have the authority to expedite the estimated shipping date. As of now the estimated shipping date is the 11th of October 2006 and the order may ship out on or before"
* * *
Recently the "f" key fell off my laptop. Half the letters are rubbed off. It's probably time to start thinking about a...Toshiba, Gateway, Sony...
Friday, October 06, 2006
Best Part, Worst Part
Sometimes at the dinner table we answer the question, "What was the best and worst part of your day."
Tonight my daughter said she had a great day. No worst parts. The best part, she said, was coming home from school knowing it's the weekend.
My husband's day was not so great. He could not think of a best part. The worst part was that he found out his favorite computer guy at work (the one who helps him most) gave two weeks' notice. We served him a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream so he would have a "best part."
My worst part was dealing with Cingular. My mother-in-law's cell phone got stolen at the airport on Monday. So today I called her cell number, and some guy answered.
"Where'd you get the phone you're using?" I asked him.
"Huh?"
I repeated myself, perhaps a wee bit more assertively.
Click.
I drove to the Cingular center to cancel the service so he couldn't make international calls or something. The guys there told me they were unable to handle it for me. They said I had to call Cingular. So I stood there in the Cingular store and called Cingular. (How is that for customer service?) The "retention expert" I reached said he could make Mom's phone inoperable, but I have to keep paying for the service until July. Contract says so. When I asked the guys at the center why in the world two guys in a Cingular store could not handle a customer service need, they told me Cingular does not want the store personnel handling cancellations as they do not specialize in "retention." Translation: They aren't savvy enough at pressuring customers to keep what they don't want. So they have to refer customers to those who are.
That's when I told myself the blog is mightier than the sword. If you are thinking about getting the C-service, may I recommend instead that you try T-Mobile? Or Sprint? Verizon? Virgin Mobile?
The best part of my day was filling my car with gas for two bucks per gallon. Not three bucks. Not two-fifty. Not even two-fifteen. Two bucks!
What was the best and worst part of your day? Send your rants and raves, and I will enter you in a drawing to receive Mary DeMuth's fab new novel, Wishing on Dandelions.
Oh, and thanks if you are one of those who were pulling for me on the TV interview. We talked about everything from Sermon on the Mount to marriage to infertility in the course of five minutes. And I didn't even fall over and rip my dress. Frankly, I'm amazed at how much they included on their web site about the four books in the Coffee Cup series. Check it out.
Don't forget to enter the drawing by leaving a comment. I plan to pull the name of the lucky winner out of the hat on Monday.
P.S. I went to the Cingular site and found the customer service page. I located the place where I could submit a question and typed, "Check out the rant at www.aspire2.blogspot.com." I received an automated reply: "We have no documents related to rant. Please check the spelling or use a different word."
Tonight my daughter said she had a great day. No worst parts. The best part, she said, was coming home from school knowing it's the weekend.
My husband's day was not so great. He could not think of a best part. The worst part was that he found out his favorite computer guy at work (the one who helps him most) gave two weeks' notice. We served him a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream so he would have a "best part."
My worst part was dealing with Cingular. My mother-in-law's cell phone got stolen at the airport on Monday. So today I called her cell number, and some guy answered.
"Where'd you get the phone you're using?" I asked him.
"Huh?"
I repeated myself, perhaps a wee bit more assertively.
Click.
I drove to the Cingular center to cancel the service so he couldn't make international calls or something. The guys there told me they were unable to handle it for me. They said I had to call Cingular. So I stood there in the Cingular store and called Cingular. (How is that for customer service?) The "retention expert" I reached said he could make Mom's phone inoperable, but I have to keep paying for the service until July. Contract says so. When I asked the guys at the center why in the world two guys in a Cingular store could not handle a customer service need, they told me Cingular does not want the store personnel handling cancellations as they do not specialize in "retention." Translation: They aren't savvy enough at pressuring customers to keep what they don't want. So they have to refer customers to those who are.
That's when I told myself the blog is mightier than the sword. If you are thinking about getting the C-service, may I recommend instead that you try T-Mobile? Or Sprint? Verizon? Virgin Mobile?
The best part of my day was filling my car with gas for two bucks per gallon. Not three bucks. Not two-fifty. Not even two-fifteen. Two bucks!
What was the best and worst part of your day? Send your rants and raves, and I will enter you in a drawing to receive Mary DeMuth's fab new novel, Wishing on Dandelions.
Oh, and thanks if you are one of those who were pulling for me on the TV interview. We talked about everything from Sermon on the Mount to marriage to infertility in the course of five minutes. And I didn't even fall over and rip my dress. Frankly, I'm amazed at how much they included on their web site about the four books in the Coffee Cup series. Check it out.
Don't forget to enter the drawing by leaving a comment. I plan to pull the name of the lucky winner out of the hat on Monday.
P.S. I went to the Cingular site and found the customer service page. I located the place where I could submit a question and typed, "Check out the rant at www.aspire2.blogspot.com." I received an automated reply: "We have no documents related to rant. Please check the spelling or use a different word."
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Fat Baptists
The church we now attend does not have the word "Baptist" in the name, but still it's an SBC church. And based on a news clip that my friend, Alison, in London sent me yesterday, it's high time for our denomination to do some self-examination.Apparently, Baptists are porkers. I know, not every Baptist is one. But a Purdue University study has found that of all Christians, Baptists are the most likely to be obese.
My husband and I have long noted that the worship song "We Bow Down" could be sung as "We chow down" or "We sow down" at the many ice cream socials, barbecues, and potlucks, which happen frequently among those who eschew the stuff Jesus turned water into. Nothing wrong with the food and fellowship part, but...
Here's the take-home paper message: Fellowship, good. Stuffing ourselves, bad.
The Purdue professor of sociology who led the eight-year study thinks Baptists are so big (ignore my pun) on telling people not to "smoke, chew or go who girls who do" that we miss the point. Yup, bless our hearts, we Baptists--southerners in particular--focus on a few no-no's and miss the whole bit about moderation. In Dante's inferno, those who overindulge face worse punishment than those who lust. His is clearly not a Baptist hell.
The study showed that obesity cases increased from 24 percent in 1986 to 30 percent in 1994 among the 16 million-member Southern Baptist Convention and the North American Baptists Conference. Okay, so this study that made UPI headlines on 9/30 was not the latest-breaking news. But still, it found 12 years ago that Baptist women were more likely to be found in the apparel store for big girls.
Here's the teeny weeny bit of good news: While women who watched or listened to religious TV and radio were more likely to be obese, women who actually attended services were less likely to be overweight. How's that for motivation get on off-a the couch and into the pew?
...as long as we can skip the Krispy-Kreme drive-through on the way.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Tune In
Thanks to my great publicists, Connie and Kelley, I’m scheduled to appear on "Good Morning, Texas" (channel 8-TV, the local ABC station) this Wednesday morning talking about the Coffee Cup Bible Study series. Tune in if you’re local.
Back in junior high when I played viola, I would sometimes dream before a concert that I’d trip on my dress up there on stage in front of God and everybody. Well, I had that same funny feeling about this yesterday. So please breathe a little prayer that I won’t embarrass myself or anybody else, okay?
Back in junior high when I played viola, I would sometimes dream before a concert that I’d trip on my dress up there on stage in front of God and everybody. Well, I had that same funny feeling about this yesterday. So please breathe a little prayer that I won’t embarrass myself or anybody else, okay?
Leave 'em Weeping
Sometimes it’s fun to see somebody cry. I’m talking about the kind of tears that happen when someone overwhelms you with expressions of care. Today our church did that to my friend, Reiko.
Reiko and her family just returned from feeding God’s children in Japan for two years, and they’ve purchased a house in our neighborhood. So today they got a surprise pounding. No, they didn’t get their noses punched. A “pounding” is a custom that dates back to the early Quaker days. When somebody new moved into town, folks would have a welcome-wagon get together at which all the neighbors brought a pound of sugar, flour, butter, oranges—whatever—to help stock the new neighbor’s pantry.
Yet today’s pounding was more stealth than that. Somebody (no, not me) sent out an email, and then lots of folks quietly brought stuff that they stacked in a corner of the church's entry area. One family even donated a television set! Then Reiko’s family was informed that all that stuff was theirs.
That’s when the tears happened.
Like I said, those kind of tears are fun to see. The church's Bible study group was talking only this week about how Jesus said to do acts of kindness in secret without expecting thanks or praise... Seeing the huge stack of groceries was great for Reiko, but it was great for the rest of us, too. It was a good reminder of how much good a few bucks and kind motives can do.
And it reminded me of something my niece, Heather, told me last week. Heather is the one whose mom was recently diagnosed with cancer (you can check out the update site here). Heather emailed to say that she and her groom were out at brunch last week and they went to pay the bill, but someone—in a random act of kindness—had paid it already. Heather told me she about lost it right there in the restaurant. I about lost it when I read her message about it.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if phrases like “losing it” and “getting a pounding” had to have new primary meanings because of so many acts of both random and intentional kindness?
Whom can you bless with a random act of kindness today? Whom can you surprise with a premeditated expression of care? Has anybody ever surprised you with such an act? I'd love to hear about it.
Reiko and her family just returned from feeding God’s children in Japan for two years, and they’ve purchased a house in our neighborhood. So today they got a surprise pounding. No, they didn’t get their noses punched. A “pounding” is a custom that dates back to the early Quaker days. When somebody new moved into town, folks would have a welcome-wagon get together at which all the neighbors brought a pound of sugar, flour, butter, oranges—whatever—to help stock the new neighbor’s pantry.
Yet today’s pounding was more stealth than that. Somebody (no, not me) sent out an email, and then lots of folks quietly brought stuff that they stacked in a corner of the church's entry area. One family even donated a television set! Then Reiko’s family was informed that all that stuff was theirs.
That’s when the tears happened.
Like I said, those kind of tears are fun to see. The church's Bible study group was talking only this week about how Jesus said to do acts of kindness in secret without expecting thanks or praise... Seeing the huge stack of groceries was great for Reiko, but it was great for the rest of us, too. It was a good reminder of how much good a few bucks and kind motives can do.
And it reminded me of something my niece, Heather, told me last week. Heather is the one whose mom was recently diagnosed with cancer (you can check out the update site here). Heather emailed to say that she and her groom were out at brunch last week and they went to pay the bill, but someone—in a random act of kindness—had paid it already. Heather told me she about lost it right there in the restaurant. I about lost it when I read her message about it.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if phrases like “losing it” and “getting a pounding” had to have new primary meanings because of so many acts of both random and intentional kindness?
Whom can you bless with a random act of kindness today? Whom can you surprise with a premeditated expression of care? Has anybody ever surprised you with such an act? I'd love to hear about it.
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